The 3 lettered word that spells MENACE!

Call me Feminist or what ever you like, but it is a FACT that I am beginning to increasing DISLIKE MEN to an extent, which I feel is shockingly dangerous!! It's quite ironical how I have a few MEN in my life whom I love to DEATH and a lot many of them whom I would love to see DEAD!!! Yes I am still angry and frustrated about the various incidents that took place in the past week… curious?? Don’t worry I will take your through a few of them with as much detail I perceive is necessary! The more you interact with them, the more you get to know about them, the More you DESPICE them!!!

Having said that I have a Father, who is a gem of a person, my little hero brother, who is a darling and is someone I cannot live without, and also have a few good guy friends, who are always there for me, they always know what to say and how to say and I love them for that! But this Blog entry of mine is not about there lovely people, it about those people who have really brought out the UGLY side of me!!!

I am one of those people who, generally are in the zone that say "Oh, you shouldn’t abuse and if in case you do, you should quickly follow it up with Washing your mouth or spit out and further still, PRAY for forgiveness!" That was ME a few weeks back! Now I have gone full throttle and if things continue go forward in this fashion, I would soon be accepting my Masters in hurling abuses!!!

You can find these despicable beings at all spheres of our daily activities, so easily in fact, that you don’t even need to look closely. Let me start with examples as to when and where these things found their opportunities to irritate me and I am sure many other people like me!

Category 1 - Huffy Hawker

Walking in Bur Dubai, the overtly crowded streets of Meena Bazaar, looking through the glass panels displaying exquisite sarees, churidaars, salwar khameezs and legengas and many more is like an ultimate haven for us girls, especially the ladies in my house, but right when I am picturing myself in that beautiful net and georgette saree with beautiful crafted embroidery work embedded with hundreds of tiny crystals, my dream comes to screeching crash with a MAN in background , saying "Madam, you want Louis Vuitton, Gucci, Juicy Couture, branded watches, and bags? Madam very nice variety, you must come with me!!", pointing to this shady, under lit, dodgy looking joint! They follow you around, make weird hand and leg gestures and start stalking you to each and very shop you enter! Arghh… How I wish I could just turn back and say "Dude, if I want to buy the Branded stuff, I would go to the malls, and not come to you, you horrible little stalking counterfeit dealer?" but I can't!! I just can't! Okay I agree, you need to make a living and this is one way you feed yourself and people who are dependent on you, but why irritate, stalk and act crazy??

Category 2 – Demented Dominator

I am one of the most workaholic people you can come across, at the age of 24, I have achieved, amassed and succeeded quite a lot especially considering my chosen field and considering Dubai's present situation, read Recession hit state! I, my parents, my professors and my friends take immense pride in the same! But obviously not all people think the same. My boss is one of the guys who takes an instant fancy towards some people and an instant dislike to others. I was lucky enough to fall into the first category, mostly because of the way I work and partly because whom I am. I am the youngest in my Office, yet I work on weekends, I stay back after office hours if we have a deadline, I am forever available be it late in the evening, be it weekends, be it vacations! Just a phone call away. All my friends and family can vouch for it. While working on crucial projects I completely ignore everyone and everything other than the PROJECT! And despite all this, last week I got taunted by my boss TWICE!!! First he says "Since you were busy having LUNCH (Read a 10 minute affair), I thought I will just hope onto your seat and take a look at that Quotation (due the next week)!" and another time, he says "What the use of telling you my sorrows (regarding Work), even if your sitting simply at home during weekends, you don’t come over and help out!" Can you believe that?? I was like shell-shocked and then thought maybe I done WORK enough!!! Right!

Category 3 – Crack Controller

My DM is man who is suffering from Borderline disorder but no one other than me seems to understand his predicament. The man thinks I am a machine; at least he definitely treats me like one. The other day, while working on one project, he coolly breezes in, in his lavender t shirt (Read Extremely tight and slight unnerving) reading the Newspaper and sipping on his Protein drink and says, "N, Finish this off Faaaast, only then can I give you the NEXT one…" consider this coming from a Man who comes in late, leaves early, has numerous telephone breaks walking to and fro completely disturbing people around him and has been caught a number of time watching videos on YouTube containing excess sexual content (You know what, right??) :O How How can you?? I am not a machine, please treat me like a human being, and do not overburden me!!! Yes I know your crazy, but please don’t drive me crazy too!!

Category 4 – Insatiable Idiots

This is a combination of Category 2 and 3, taking it to a whole new level. Last Wednesday, We, as in my Boss, Me and my DM were able to crack a Big Deal (Lets call it SHQ), it was like a huge relief for me, as I have been working on this and talking about only this for the past whole month, to my friends, to my parents, to my sister, to my brother and to everyone possible, Even I am brushing my teeth in the morning the only thing I think about was SHQ SHQ SHQ!!! After we got it I was soo relieved, but alas I had forgotten that the men around me had no intention of letting me relax, late in the evening my boss calls me up and says… "Congratulations, if all because of your hard work! Job well done! Come in early tomorrow, you have to get working on the NEXT one!!!"

Category 5 – Psycho Pursuer

Having a Facebook profile, no matter how good your privacy settings are, you almost always get messages like "Ohh.. You’re an angel; wanna make up FRANSHIP with me!" No dude, I don’t want to make anything with you!! And when you ignore the messages get stronger and more aggressive! Really? Is this the only thing left in this world?? Argh…

Category 6 – Scorned Suitor

Then again we have the next and last category (for today). A Man who claims to have feelings for me, is apparently completely besotted by me, had the audacity to accuse me of only talking to, quote unquote "Sons, brothers and husbands and never to girls…" and he quickly called it a joke as if to cover up his folly or to quickly pacify me! Whatever it is the Damage is DONE! How can you accuse someone of something like that? Do you not think before speaking??? Why is it that I get penalized for being at the receiving end of someone's interest, fascination and attraction? Why??

This weekend, I have been completely antisocial, cut off from my Gtalk, BB, Msn, Twitter and Facebook, not having any conversations with anyone and only going online to update my status and little else. I just had to completely cut myself of MEN, entirely or else I would really have taken a knife and stabbed someone!!! Argh…

The issue is partly because of my inability to voice my feelings to my wrong doer and just bundling them up! If only had I vented it out when the opportunity was just there in front of me, I would have done much better.

There is an inherent need for me to distance MYSELF from people and relax, rebound and IGNORE! But how could I do that without venting out through my most favorite medium, My BLOG!! *Sigh*

MEN… They really do bring out the absolute WORST in me!! Tsk tsk!

That’s IT! Get that KNIFE!

It would be a lie, if I say that I don’t get ANGRY all that easily! It would be an even bigger lie if I said Anger is a Bad emotion!

We, as human beings are full of feelings and emotions; it really makes no sense in trying to keep ourselves calm and composed all the time. As a matter of fact, Anger, is a feeling, an expression just as happiness and the others, it is an effective approach to release our inner dissatisfaction. I for one believe that if reasonable anger cannot be emitted in time, there would be serious repercussions, which may be far beyond our expectation! It is said that a certain percentage of people who fall ILL, Mentally illness are because of the pressed mood. Considering my Past week, quite obviously, I am NOT going to be ONE of them!

There was a time, immediately after school, during college, I think the First two years of college, I was HOT/SHORT Temper, Personified! You ask me a Question, and I would reply you back with a Question! No two ways about that! Thinking back I guess, it was the hormones, the idea of leading towards achieving higher level goals fueled by the strong will or desire to prove others wrong!! Fight the HOD, with few of the classmates, with any1 and everyone. But the fact of the scenario was I was being even more irritated by my seniors and others just so that they can see Me get angry, see me REACT! Yup I just couldn’t Ignore or Keep quiet! If someone said something that I didn’t agree with, it was almost important for me to express my displeasure to them at once! And Why NOT!

Then she came, a calm and composed lady professor with a superior thought process and interesting set of assignments, the assignments in turn got me closer to Mum… pestering both of them to give me a push in the right direction of Design! With both of them so closely bonded to me, things started falling into place, my anger was replaced by a sense of extreme determination and vigor to channel all my energy in a positive and constructive manner. I topped, not once, not twice, but all the bloody times, in all the semesters! That was my Number one Priority in life, a Spotlessly clean 4 G.P.A all the time! Till I completed my Masters that was the only thing on my Mind!!!

Once that got over, I drowned myself with the same vigor to excel at work! To be able to do anything and everything in a Design Firm, that was my TARGET!! For the past One year that was my agenda, doing everything from designing, quantifying, specifying, dusting, arranging samples, meeting clients, site visits, and what not! Working on Weekends was like a norm for me! It was Fun, exciting and exhilarating! Everything was just perfect!

During all this while, I wouldn’t say I never got anger, I did, but never expressed it, I just ignored people I didn’t like, or who didn’t like me or people who said, behaved in principles that I do not reciprocate! All this because I was too bothered about my target that nothing else mattered to me!

But my Flashback Week in December saw some developments that I could have lived without! I got bored! All of a Sudden… just like that, it’s been over three years since I am working in the organization, but I believe 2010 was the best in terms of Work, creative satisfaction and contentment! But in December, everything sort of slowed down. My interest, my commitment, I don’t know what it is, but it has definitely gone somewhere!

And that void, has not been left empty! Nope, Not at all! It was quickly filled up with ANGER! The Last week saw me get angry with my Boss, with my DM, with my project guys etc! The incident that left me slightly flushed and shaken was my tiff with the DM.

He had me pushed to the limit earlier on as well, but I chose to shut up and ignore the man! But there is a limit to which you can instigate a person no? Three days back He said something and that’s was it! I thought I was going to explode, my body temperature hit the roof, my hands were shivering, and my voice levels went a notch higher! I thought I would Burn right there!

He was wrong, he wasn’t accepting it and I was trying to get him to realize, accept and move on, but he just wouldn’t and I just couldn’t stop!

True I didn’t want to passively accept his wrongdoings anymore and this incident illuminates my effort to take action against him finally. Agreed the Anger once subsided we were talking as though nothing transpired between us and we were perfectly normal. But my Question to myself was, where did all that energy come from? The Anger made me feel the strongest, most assertive and yet so so weak and vulnerable.

Was it Okay? Is it healthy to feel like you would just snap into flames? Is it normal to want to stab someone? LOL Do I need Anger Management Classes?

Even while asking this Question, I can hear my Mum, in the background saying… “You have too much money and don’t know how to Spend it! It’s normal! Find a new Target or a New Person in Life!! So SHUT UP!”

Is it?? Is that ALL??