In past two months, I have been involved in what I would
like to call a lot of one sided arguments ( i.e. apart from my usual "healthy
discussions" with friends and family), wherein the someone randomly comes
up to me, starts an argument and then ends up doing a bit of name calling and
of course the standard use of the abusive words showcasing their horrible
command over the English language. They expect me to react, obviously, because that's
why they do it.... funny enough... My only reaction to the individuals... lets
call them the "Action Mongers" in question was nothing. One of them
being an ex- colleague, and the other being an elderly person, who is only known
to me through a mutual entity. Both of them, tried their level best to bring me
down to their level, made good use of their heavy baritones, aggressively shook
and contorted their facial expressions... but I just didn't move.
Not because I couldn't, but just because,
I was merely refusing their gifts
There's yet
another person in my life, who has been constantly trying to insult me behind
my back, let's call the said person
"The Well Wisher", who decided, on their own, that I have a
"Void" in my life, and THEY seem to have been entrusted by some great
power to FILL IT! Their "help" so far has been in the categories
ranging from "grossly insulting" to "extremely insensitive
pokes". I will not go into the nitty gritties, simply because it just
isn't worth it.
There’s a Zen story... which, for the life of me I can't
remember at this point in time, however, I do remember the moral of the story..
(that what counts, isn't it?...)
The moral was: “If someone comes to give
you a gift and you do not receive it, to whom does the gift belong?”
The beauty of such situations is that, even when we find ourselves
in such terrible situations, or even when someone throws the mother of all
insults our way, we still get to CHOOSE your response. Nobody can take
away that power away from US, but that being said, too often we surrender to it
ourselves...
I am the practically the last person who is going to say, if
someone slaps you on one side of your face, turn the other
one to him! Trust me, although Mr. MK Gandhi and I share birth months and star signs,
I completely and vehemently oppose his certain thought processes. I am on the
other side of the boat and I say that if anybody slaps you on your one cheek
without your fault, he/she should be slapped back on both cheeks. Period. You
have to stand up for yourself every now and then, lest folks start taking
advantage of you and your un-offend-ability!
I am talking more about the people who insult you
intentionally. Whose main goal is to upset you... offend you. The best way to
handle this is simply by refusing to become UPSET or get OFFENDED. This not
only stumps your insulter, but it also makes them feel completely powerless and
useless. It’s like someone trying to kill you by shooting you point
blank in the chest. But, how do you think they’d feel, if the bullet just
bounced off, Rajnikanth style, and you responded with nothing more than a
raised eyebrow?
Well, I do know how that feels.. its feels ABSOLUTELY
Amazing! Liberating. Relaxing. Uplifting.
*In case you are wondering, what's with the "Spare Tyre" Reference, well... as they say.. Samjhne wale samjh jayengay!
