December Dilemmas...

Continuing with My Black and White Theme, I am going to be slightly philosophical today, but I promise I will most definitely try not to sound preachy! :P

As 2010 comes to an end, today that is the 29th of December should, I believe be set aside to remind us that there are still a couple more lessons we need to learn before we can finally welcome the New Year. Are we going let our 2010 go by just like that? :)

This past December has been a bit of a rollercoaster with some good times mixed with some challenges. I think this can be mostly attributed to us feeling the need to complete things, finish things before the New Year. I definitely feel so; I am in a mad rush to finished unfinished business. Be it catching up with people, whom I have not been entirely cordial with, or be letting bygones be bygones, everything and so many things in my hands and such little time… :)

Well, this is to be expected of any month, but there's a good chance that these challenges seem more, well, Challenging this month, more than usual. Tempting though it may be to allow these events to frustrate Us, its better I think to keep in mind that this is the Universe's version of tough love.

A lot of my close friends are suffering from the December; a few of My Besties are in unbelievable predicaments. All unrelated problems yet extremely related in ways that can expressed by me at the moment! A little more thought into it and I assure you I will have an answer to it! :P

I feel that having the ability to look these challenges in the face and take them on, one-by-one doesn't just make it easier for us to deal with problems later; it also makes the good times THAT much better.

I believe problems are good, well you say, “Ye she can say that, she isn’t going through what I am going through!!” but honestly think about it, these problems only want to toughen you up, while going through them in turn makes us learn discipline. It might help to think of our approach to problems as muscle building in our bodies, no? The more time we spend stretching and training and building our muscles, the more constructive and efficient it will be. That reminds me, when did I last Work Out? :P :P Dealing with problems requires the same sort of training.

The more challenges we successfully tackle, the easier they become. This month has helped me develop an internal buoyancy and elasticity, and the test that Life presents us with will help hammer all the skills the Universe has planned for US. Everything that is happening to us, right now is not new or not a bolt from the blue… they are premeditated and calculated in their own little ways, what is not thought off, is the way WE will react to them. December has been mostly an amalgamation of delays and setbacks for most people I know.

How I dealt with a sense of growing emptiness was I believe the best way! The Best way to deal with these energies is to hone all of my attention - at least to the extent possible - on one particular project. I have started showing extreme discipline and initiative with respect to this project of mine, this way till the time I achieve success, I have something to occupy my Mind and also ward off all alignments with all unwanted side effects as possible.

I need to fully appreciate and benefit from the lessons the Universe has thrown at me lately, this will in turn help me in fully understanding just my strengths and weaknesses are.

We all have an idea of who we are, but there are also aspects of our personality that are either forgotten or completely unknown. Taking my beloved professor this morning made me realize how many many aspects of my personality I have forgotten or hidden away deep down within me. I will need to uncover what the Universe considers are my greatest strengths and my greatest opportunities for improvement.

There is a definite need to regain a lot of my attributes and to retain at least a quarter of my impulsiveness and risk taking abilities… Well, so what if the Month is coming to a close in two days, the next year brings in 365 wonderful days for me to adapt, realign and acclimatize. Right?

FlashBACK time!

In exactly three days time, we will all be ushering in the New Year, with eyes filled with hope, anxiety and excitement at what is in store for all of us in the year 2011. New years is a time when everyone is eager to have an awesome time, be happy, enjoy, freak out, get drunk and DANCE!

But what do I do??? Lol I get into Flash back mode! Literally the Black and White zone! The last week of the year makes me go back in time and look back at the different happenings, achievements, lows, incidents and people in my life over the past one year. For me it is the time to thank God, people around me and count my blessings.

I dress in black and white color combination all through the last week of the year and let my memories be the ONLY color in my life. My memories are always in COLOR, in dark, intense, RAW hues! This year saw many RED memories – read angry/ unfortunate ones, a number of BLUE ones – read me ignoring things/people in life rather than confronting them, several PINK ones – read crushes and cupcakes! :P, more than a few BLACK Ones – read sad, depressing and melancholic ones and a lot many WHITE ones – read me playing Peacemaker and the agony aunt! I will get into all of that and more in the coming days.

Today… 28th December… 28th December 2010, has a lot of significance for me; or rather I would like it to be highly important to me. It is the day that makes me remember how strong a person I am, yes as you can see; I am in no Mood to be modest. :P It brings back memory of a mistake I had made in my life. Well actually I shouldn’t be calling it a blunder as if it weren’t for IT, I wouldn’t be the way I am, the person I am, I would be ME! It is Because of IT that I have come out much stronger and much nicer Human Being. (Well I definitely think SO! :P)

I have never once shared My black and White funda with any1, only this year do I feel that I should share with People whom I love and I care about and All people who care enough to read this SMALL blog of mine! :) I think its because I have matured a LOT in the past year.

Wearing black and white for the whole of the week makes me feel strong, makes me feel close to my immediate past and closer to my Future. This is my way of saying thank you to the Omnipotent and to the Year 2010.

• Thank you for showing me new highs and lows in life, making me learn not to EXPECT and to never to lay down expectations sooo strong and passionate that it is difficult to get them over them whenever they are not realized in the way I wanted them to.

• Thank you for showing me that I am not dependent on anyone for anything and that I can survive alone if need be, there have been so many many instances this year that I didn’t not vent out my frustrations as quickly as I used to. And that NO One in this world is indispensable, vital or absolutely essential for my survival other than my Mum, Appa, my Sis and My hero!

• Thank you for showing me how my I love my folks, how much I need them and how much they mean to me, daily for 362 (3 more days for the NEW YEAR yay!) days this year!

• Thank you for letting me accomplish a lot of things like creating my own little blog and now making my 55th entry this year! Its feels amazing to be able to have a platform where in I can key my feeling and emotions but not at the cost of boring a family member or close friend.

• Thank you for giving me an opportunity to handle a Project as prestigious and Big as GOOGLE itself so earlier in my career! Thank you for having faith in me and for supporting me throughout.

• Thank you for giving me sudden Work related surprise jerks and perks!

• Thank you for giving me Wonderful new friends who are addition in my Amazing life that you have gifted me, these new friends are beautiful, sincere and Oh.. so Protective! I love them!

• Thank you for giving me a choice in life, putting me on crossroads so that I can test my patience, mental capacity and endurance.

• Thank you for making me realize that I need to give Break to Dancing. That I need to STOP dancing for a while. I couldn’t be happier with my decision!

• Thank you for letting me learn that being in love needs to be treated like signing a contract, thinking about the pros and cons and then sealing it. It’s stupid to think that falling in love is like batting and eyelid and immediately having bells ringing in the background signaling you that HE/SHE is the ONE, NOT!

• Thank you for making me spiritually stronger and a stauncher believer in YOU and YOUR power!

I can continue writing like this forever, but that would get a tad boring now wouldn’t it, so I would rather stop now and come back soon… hopefully a few more entries in the black and white zone before I get flooded with the New Year celebration Frenzy.

Btw… Thank you! Appreciate IT!

Negative's Postive?

I want to address something pretty serious for a change! :P

Well you cannot blame me, the Year is coming to any end, and this is precisely THAT time of the year which marks a lot of fortunate – unfortunate, necessary – unnecessary, happy – unhappy feelings and thought process. I have been going through a multitude of them over the past few weeks but I haven’t been able to put them down because of excessive work load and hectic schedules of both mine as well as my friends. Yes, the happenings in our friend’s life affect us. They make us think… they make us experience different situations without actually being in them, right?

Today, I want to talk rather write about Negativity. We often talk about erasing negative beliefs, breaking through harmful thought patterns, and getting in Flow to help us move towards our goals. But this is often easier said than done. In fact I say, why should there be no negativity? There needs to be the presence of Negativity in Life in order to be able to appreciate and cherish the positivity.

How can we be grateful for Light when we have never suffered in the Darkness? How can we be pleased with our Success when we have not been depressed with our Failure?

No, I am Not saying we need to be Immerse ourselves in the ever failing darkness submerged by the negativity, but a fine blend, that would do wouldn’t it? A delicate balance, a beautiful amalgamation…Will this not result in something new, beautiful, sincere and genuine.

I have seen quite a few examples in the past week, No. 1 *Veena Malik* screaming, crying and howling at *Ashmit Patel* on Big Boss Season 4 (yes I am a FAN of BB4, so what? :P) and my close friend, Sachu who just got a very well deserved raise after having slogged out for such a long time.

Veena getting upset with Ashmit and the simultaneous battle of words and flying sandals ended with them hugging and kissing each other before the end of the day! How would they know how much the cared for each other, how much they like/love each other, how much they mean to each other without them having gone through these numerous fights that they do? They maybe scripted and rehearsed for all I care, but what I am talking about is the intricate nuances of Human Nature, Our Inner Identity!

My friend and I use to curse, bad mouth and spew venom at his Employer, for having treated him unfairly, but the minute the Raise came through, my heart swelled with happiness, gratitude and pride! After all they were noticing his hard work and did reward him albeit a bit late! *Better LATE than NEVER!* That IS the Banana Talk, Right Sachu? :P Congratulations Buddy! :D

Inside each of us is an “outline” that defines who we are. It governs everything from our weight, our height our confidence, our money mindset and how we deal with loved ones.

I call this Outline the "True Inner Personality". It's the mental map within our subconscious that makes us "US".

Almost all Personal Issues, Public events, problems, situations, trials, tribulations that we face are different creative visualizations designed by GOD Almighty to help US shape and mold this "True Inner Identity". Because whatever aspect of this Outline we change 'within' US, changes the exterior real world US as well.

So let’s quit saying Bad things about Negatives in Life! If it weren’t for Negativity, we would have been so positive! :D

Blithering Idiot!

Before I begin, I would like to get hold of an anticipatory bail! This is one of those random entries, which are slightly emo in nature, a tad bit annoying maybe; they are a “throw up” of my thoughts to relieve certain extreme feelings of mine.

In the past few months and most importantly the last two weeks, during one of my random thinking sessions, I have come to realize that TRUST… a simple five letter word, with its deep seated and intrinsic value is not just another simple five letter word.

It is much more, much much more than that! I have come to realize that, if we trust no one, therefore NOT tell our secrets/thoughts/feelings to anyone which in turn will result in us not being betrayed by anyone ever!

I really haven’t been giving my random thinking much importance, but mind you these empty the brain exercise, do so much good that I have decided to carry them out with twice the vigor and every single time that I feel the need to have a conversation with another person. The Brain, my brain is filled with random scattered thoughts, intertwining, interlacing, interlocking into forming thousand other thoughts; separating each one of them, pull each one out of their uncoordinated mess, and arranging them in a liner well defined fashion enables clarity, simplicity of thoughts and most importantly Concentration!

This concentration in turn has helped me identify that No one can be trusted completely… I do believe that to a certain extent, yup a certain extent, not entirely… how I can completely give up on the Human race… lol… Not yet, damn Right NOT YET!

Trust is the very thing that everybody in this world desires, or at least should desire from one another, right? Who wants to have a friendship or relationship without trust? Nobody does. Without trust, there is no friendship, and without friendship, there is no love, right?

It is a special thing to be trusted by someone. To be told you are trusted is a phenomenal compliment at that time it is also a HUGE responsibility… Everyone says things… things they mean, they don’t mean, things they say just so that they can get to know what the other person has in mind, etc. It is up to us not to blindly trust that.

I have trusted people blindly, without any pretence, completely, gave them everything I had, my time, my energy and most importantly My love, It is surprising to note that everyone of these people have left me high and Dry for one reason or the other. People whom I called my best friends have almost always succeeded in doing things that completely upset my system.

But all I have to say to them is, It wasn't your fault; it was mine for believing every word you said!

But Mind you, I have had enough of being that blithering Idiot!

What a WONDERFUL World!

I see trees of green, red roses too…

I see them bloom for me and you…

And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

My story is not very unusual; I am inherently a passionate movie buff, ardent movie watcher, a cinema lover. I love good movies, fine entertainment, and excellent infotainment. What I feel, is oddly curious about me, is my fascination with melodramatic, emotional and poignant movies. I have forever loved watching movies alone, mind you, only the ones that TOUCH my heart, the ones that promise to stay with me long after I have watched it, and the ones that tug at my heart strings and keep strumming them for a long long time.

I cherish these feeling of sadness, grief, bated breath, heavy sighs and tears of empathy. I consider my ability to CRY so easily with the characters onscreen, to be very enduring and humane and artistic! Yes please do not ask how and why but I definitely do. And today I have had the Pleasure to watch the Movie Guzaarish with my most favorite person in this world, Myself! I should also add that I truly Loved the experience and shall cherish it for the Rest of My Life!

When I First saw the trailer of *Guzaarish* I immediately said to myself, Now that is My kind of movie. I wanted to Watch IT there and then! Not many people I know wanted to watch the movie, In fact My Appa asked me "Why do you want to PAY and go cry?" Good Question, But Why not? Do we only watch movies for mindless entertainment, crude jokes, inhumane bodies and unrealistic stunts? I for one, have nothing against such movies, In fact I am one of those few peoples, who equally enjoy watching a BIG BOSS, a Golmaal and a Guzaarish as well!!

Coming back to My Prime train of thought, Guzaarish, the movie is set in the picturesque Goa, home to one of the most accomplished magicians of the time - Ethan Mascarenhas. As movie starts, we get a glimpse of a Day in the Life of Ethan, how he needs to be helped by his Nurse/caregiver/friend/Shadow Sofia D'Souza to wake up, brush, have a shower, dress, and sit. The Man, Mr. Bhansali doesn’t believe in wasting any time in getting to his story and does a remarkable Job of getting our attention right from the very first Frame.

Due to a highly unfortunately turn of events, Ethan is severely injured when one of his magical tricks goes horribly wrong, turning him into a quadriplegic. Confined in his own room, Bed and wheelchair, Ethan does not waste his time drowning himself in self pity, helplessness and grief, instead he channels his inner power to get stronger and stronger.

He becomes the Radio Jockey, he disperses magic, hope and laughter through his irrepressible wit and humor to every listener and caller, making it almost impossible to imagine that this is a man who has been immobilized with a spinal injury for the last fourteen years of his life. However, Ethan decides to take matters into his own hands and files an appeal to the court for mercy killing. This leaves Sofia in an impasse that challenges their relationship and their love. The rest of the story is basically a wonderful execution of a man, his vision, mission and all those people who help him. The ethics, the morality, the cruelty and the kindness of Ethan's mission causes everyone to be struck by a tsunami of emotions ranging from rage to sorrow.

Sofia is Ethan's elegant nurse, friend, caregiver, support system and much much more, she has been accompanying him like a shadow for the past twelve years. Both Sofia and Ethan have their lives centered upon each other, they share a silent tacit love which is both beautiful and spirited. For Me, Guzaarish, was a true Love story, exotically portrayed without the need for any unnecessary touch, dialogue or excess of emotion. The Pain in the eyes of the two characters, the longing in their hearts, the helplessness in their voices, the pang of misery in their sighs have all managed to capture the true essence of Love for me. The chemistry between the two main characters is unbelievably intense that the timber of their love can almost be touched. It is so beautiful that I can barely express myself here.

The music, the frame, the coloring, the sets, the costumes and the casting, all add to the Whole Guzaarish Experience. Hrithik Roshan is Par excellence, he has definitely played superheroes before… but this I feel is his Biggest SuperHERO role ever. He looked ethereal, earnest, belivable and he wants Acting, he was living the life of Ethan, so was Aishwarya Rai, they were both living in the shoes of their respect characters. Not for a second do we see them as Hrithik Roshan or Aishwarya Rai, but always as Ethan and Sophia. Both of them have done a Remarkable job and added value, grace, dignity and poise to yet another visual Splendor from the house of SLB Films. Aishwarya Rai is tremendous as Sophia and has done I believe more than enough to Shut her critics and non fans! She looks sober, gentle and completely at ease in Sophia's shoes. There are times when her acting skills shine and project's its luminosity, almost binding us with its brilliance! I may be Biased, but who isnt?!

Everyone has worked to the grind and the hard work is felt in every frame of Guzaarish. There is an inimitable intellect that is seen in all SLB movies, his devotion and dedication towards his crafts is truly inspirational and motivating. Guzaarish has a number of sequences that without doubt make you wonder at the Man, SLB's intelligence, exquisiteness, and brilliance! My personal favorites would be the courtroom sequence and Aishwarya's outburst towards the end of it, The hearing of the petition at Hrithik's house, the dispute between Aishwariya and Hrithik's Lawyer, Hrithik's War with Rain and the Finale.

Guzaarish is special in more ways than one. In my personal opinion, it easily ranks amongst SLB's best works so far. The Film is about smiling, living and courage! Will I recommend this movie to anyone? No, I will NOT! This is not because the movie is too emotional or not because it isn't well made, Of course it is a WELL MADE, extraordinary film, but because I am a selfish person, I want this profound, insightful and wonderful drama, the characters, the soulful music, powerful emotional quotient and most importantly the breathtakingly wonderful onscreen chemistry between Hrithik Roshan and Aishwarya Rai, all for Myself… JUST Myself!

Bas Itne se Guzaarish Hai… :)

Letters to GOD!!

Diwali is Almost HERE!! Yay!!

Yes it is once again THAT time of the Year! I earnestly look forward to Diwali, I absolutely love the colors, lights, sweets and the genuine unadulterated FUN! Lighting up your entire house with Diyas, Candles everywhere, and the smell of incense sticks filling the whole house, the fresh flowers, the colors, the clothes, and the jewellery!!

Agreed for the past two years we haven’t been celebrating Diwali they way we used, all thanks to the Layer of Depression that engulfs these festivities in terms of "Ohh... Yet another Diwali and My daughter is Still single! We will celebrate Once we find a Perfect partner for Neelu!" Sulk Sulk! But this time around I am going to have none of this spoil My Diwali!

As a prelude to the Festivities, last Saturday, I rolled up my sleeves and got into doing my most favourite chore ever, CLEANING! :D Yes, you read it right, scrubbing, dusting, washing, wiping and cleaning and ensuring every bereft dusty ignored corner of my Room (Yes I have only finished cleaning my room that to baring my sister’s Table :P). Ahh the feeling when the room sparkles from polish scrubbing and cleaning is truly divine considering how much of a borderline OCD, I am.

Last Saturday, If anyone were to come to my Room, they would most definitely have found me atop my ladder, screaming to my little brother to come and Make himself USEFUL!!! Poor Thing, Is my handy help, after all he would just anything to avoid his Studies… hahah… Me calling and involving him into my project garners a different response from my Mum which is something to the effect of… “You clean, scrub, do anything you want, do not involve the rest of us, you have nothing to do, but the rest of us have, Mon has to study and cannot waste his time… By the way for how long will is remain this leave, I am sure you yourself will be the first one to dirty the place!” My mum! Hahhah… Well Its is True to an extent, I won’t disagree, but this time around I intend to keep the Space Spick and Span throughout!! *Fingers Crossed!*

Duster, Broom, Vacuum cleaner, soap, window cleaner and everything else is absolutely essential to ensure that every iota of fictitious dirt gets sucked into a different realm, where all the Dirt from millions of OCD patient’s homes get chased into!

I am getting inherently lazy when it comes to exercise these day, I cant belive I am the same person who used to take 4 steep stairways more than 10 times in the day during my college, Ahh well at least I can blame my Knee for laziness! :P With Diwali cleaning comes the absolute exhaustion post the cleaning with I completely Look forward to. It’s the same feeling I get when I venture to take the Kitchen Duty into my hand on certain Thursday nights. The Feeling has every bone, muscle and ligament in my body beg for forgiveness and promise to show through the skin, rather than be Content and hide beneath layers of fat and MORE FAT!

And then comes My Mum’s Favorite Part of Diwali cleaning. Getting rid of the clutter! She hates clutter, and we (read me, Sannu and Kits!) are manic about accumulating clutter. And she has her way during this Cleaning, and we cannot really do anything about it as we have it our way throughout the YEAR! :P

Hybrid bits and pieces which have long been disjoint from the rest of its Body, Invitation cards, Movie theatre tickets, Metro Route, etc and they came as attachments to, old rolls of wires, dented tony cars and more, which are not going to useful as long as the Sun is shining over our Planet, but we still store it for Pure EMOTIONAL Value!

I love Diwali cleaning with a passion that only rivals the feeling of looking through bundles of old books, notes, papers and MEMORIES. Cleaning and dusting and arranging leads me to places, I knew existed, but had forgotten over the months, among the heap of my college books, I discovered a heap of papers with lots of emotional Value! My Professor’s Hand written notes congratulating me, My Boss 1st Note for me, My 1st Public speech, Little Doodles drawn during the classes, random sketches of my Dream home, My umpteen no of diaries and most importantly My Letters to God!

Sigh… My Letters to God! Expressing certain feelings of mine to anyone beyond a limit, regardless of the subject is a very very difficult thing to do for me… I am always skeptical when it comes to doing that only because of previous unpleasant experiences. It requires being prepared to bear the consequences of being misinterpreted, misquoted and most of all feeling exposed! And therefore I find it best to talk to the one person I have no qualms with, no inhibitions, no fear, and no restrictions and have nothing but Pure Love for, GOD!

There was a time I used to saturate myself with God, read and meditate on different write-ups on HIM, pray, Write and talk to God daily. Listen and try to learn his voice… and daily run these effects in my mind while doing all my daily chores.

I don’t write to HIM now, a little something made me stop, I only talk to him now, that Way I don’t feel sad reading the letters at a later stage and indulge myself in self pity. Reading the letters got me so emotional and moved since I myself was shocked at how naïve I was, How stupid I was, and at how grateful I should be, HE has given me Everything I asked for and more, everything I didn’t know I wanted, expect ONE, the One thing I kept asking HIM repeatedly in all my letters to HIM and Boy Am I glad I didn’t get it! Thank you… Thank you for not giving it to me!!

It is fascinating for me, at how my Diwali cleaning has received religious sanction of all fronts, be it me finding my letters to God or it being mandatory for all families to clean their house inside out in order to attract, Laxmi, the Goddess of Wealth.

Come Diwali, I have promised myself that will light up my house with all the lights I can lay my hands on. Bring the Diyas out, draw rangolis at the door and Laxmi’s feet running into every room of my home in optimistic hope that she decides to follow the Signage’s to our house as well… :)

Matters of the HEART!!!

I always mentioned, maintained and felt I was born in the Wrong era… A Little LATE!

I am prone to think it would have been so great if I was born a little earlier when life was simpler, uncomplicated and most of all in a World wherein I would FIT in perfectly, with my inherent old fashioned views.

I have issues, I don’t think the way most people my age do, I don’t talk in the fashion most of my friends do, I tend to think a lot, sometimes rational sometimes irrational… No I don’t mean to say that my Friends DON’T think!! Lol… That’s not for me to say, is it? :P But seriously… Its ME... I am slightly Cuckoo in the Head! I tend to over scrutinize and delve upon things a LOT more than actually necessary. But you know what I like it that way and you will know why in a bit!

The other day having a conversation with my close friend Sachu, he mentioned "You think a lot, from different aspects, and that I take decisions with my Mind and not my heart!"… Uhmm… Is it true?

I always thought and wanted to be able to listen to my Heart more…

Maybe I listen to my Mind more than my heart, because I don’t want to show people how I feel and only show people what I think, most of the time that is precisely what I do. This is solely because I have noticed that people are not really interested in knowing what exactly or how exactly I feel in tandem to any given topic. I definitely think so. I walk up to my mum, try talking to her, hearing my point of discussion, she simply exclaims… “Ohh, Its one of those attacks isnt it?? You have gone mad again... Go and tell your father, please!” Telling My Father, That!…. Yes… He will listen, yup he will… but he won’t react, he will smile and look at me, and say "You know when you were a kid, you used to wear short skirt and run behind like a little puppy following his master…" so what do I tell him… Turn to my brother, he says… "You want to express your feeling, please blog it, we are in no mood to hear your stuff!" Ahh… so much for loving your brother! :P

For Example, Right now my heart is totally at PEACE… yes complete Peace but My mind, My brain is racing, it is Tensed!! Confused and perplexed to be precise… Well anyone’s would when they come to know that their Pictures are been used by some Jobless retards to create a Fake Facebook ID and the tension might reach the point of a Heart attack when one would read the Slimy, cheesy, sexual explicit comments to the Picture… But my Heart believes its okay and everything would end nicely. How and Why I don’t know… But obliviously I can’t show that, can I? Because If I do, people would think I am definitely INSANE no?

I most definitely have to project what my brain has decided for me. My brain had decided it is wrong; you need to get tensed, perplexed and ACT! Which is definitely rational and expected, right? SO how can my Brain be wrong? :)

My Heart is very very volatile, fickle and explosive. It reacts fast and cools down equally fast. If it were for my heart I would still be friends with a lot of people, I would still be getting hurt by them, still be taken for granted and still be extreme!

But I am less crazy because of my Mind! My Mind stabilizes me, makes me look at the pros and cons in life, weigh the positives and negatives and act accordingly. This Blog entry is basically an attempt to pacify my System and bring it somewhere close to a delicate balance so that I can completely get over the Psychologically ILL, Imprudent and dim-witted person who tried to carry out an identity THEFT, that too of MINE!! If it weren’t for my brain I would have actually felt sorry for the obliviously unfortunate looking person instead of thinking about myself and my credibility!

It is often said that being true to yourself is following your heart… I guess I am Not all that TRUE to myself and I am GLAD!!

Going the GOOGLE way!

For Google to be the PERFECT search engine, means having to understand exactly what we MEAN and give back exactly what we WANT!

Imagine the joy of being the opportunity to comprehend what THEY mean and in turn create what THEY want! Yes! That is exactly what happened on a fine June morning this year. A Courier addressed to the Design department in my office, with a specific mention of “Interior Designer/ Quantity Surveyor” comes our way. Since I am the one who fits the above bill perfectly, the Package was delivered to my desk. Being the excited person that I am, I cheekily sidelined everything else that I was working on and excitedly opened up the packet ( or ripped apart in my colleague, Shaji’s words), with the happiness one sees on a 5 year old‘s face opening her Christmas gift! And was I disappointed?? Nope absolutely not!!

The Packet gave way to yet another packet marked GOOGLE! Imagine my shock, excitement and astonishment? Immediately I said to myself NO WAY are we going to get it! But the next minute I thought, to even be able to bid for the Project is a great honour in itself, right? Of course it is!

But everyone here at my office thought otherwise, they thought it was an absolute waste of time to invest our time, energy and money into something that won’t materialise the WAY we wanted it to. Why would they give it to our company they quizzed? But I, and proud to say that with my determination and backing from a few dependable colleagues, we are able to bid for the project and what do you know? We WON the Project!! :D :D

From then on started a wonderful journey involving a multitude of effects like chaos, high energy, long hours of work, sweat, tension, migraines, acidity, high stress levels and weight loss.

In order to effectively understand the Google way of working and designing the office space, there were a few things that Me and My boss had mutually agreed on that Its best to do one thing really, really well and therefore I was asked to concentrate completely on Google’s New office in Dubai and nothing else till the project is handed over and I was definitely not complaining!

Google’s head honchos as well their Middle East partners had a fairly distinct idea of what exactly they wanted in their new Office. The Office, we decided, would reflect an obvious Middle Eastern feel, along with a very modern interpretation given to the whole space, not forgetting the free, colourful, transparent feel to the entire space. We decided to Focus on the user and all else will follow. And that is exactly what happened.



Entrance Foyer



Reception Counter





The Entrance to any office sets the whole image of the entire setting. The Reception was designed to have a strong Arabic feel offset with an abstract colourful analysis. The Reception Counter was designed in the shape of a Traditional Arabic dhow, leading to the Counter is a strong feature wall, with Limestone cladding in a random English brick pattern, right beside the Counter, is a silhouette of the complete Dubai skyline featuring most of the Iconic building. In the waiting area, to add colour, we incorporated a bespoke curvilinear sofa in Bright Read and pouffe in Bright Yellow to match. Carpet tiles in golden brown and dark brown were laid in curvilinear patterns to reflect the sand dunes in the entire office. To complete the Reception Area, we added a Foosball table and a Floor to Wall Wooden Mashribiya to match the Reception counter.



Floor to Wall Mashribya Screens

Foos Ball Table



BreakOut Area

A Breakout Area, with provisions to play PS3, musical instruments like the drums and guitar was created in the form of upholstered tiers at varying heights. This area was to have the feel of a Beach, with live beach scene lurking in the background, the sounds of the sea fed into the music systems, a couple of beach chairs thrown into the mixture and viola, we have Google’s Breakout Area.




Breakout Area

 All the meeting rooms have been created with the aim of inciting the employees to work hard and play harder and therefore perform better. One of the Meeting Room has a detailed Feature wall, incorporating the Camel Racing theme.



Meeting Room 1 - Camel Racing Theme

Another Meeting room is completely in the Arabic Majlis theme, this to prove that you don’t necessarily need to be at your desk to need an answer or find a solution! The complete room, in a rich Maroon and gold, with bright Moroccan lighting adding to the flavour of the space, in order to stop the space from becoming completely Arabic, three pop art images were hung high on the wall.



Majlis Meeting Room



Majlis Room

Yet another one has a Shining glowing wall, A wall made with a mixture of Wooden Mashribiya and Acrylic sheets and dim lighting coming through creating an illusion of added space in the otherwise constrained Room.



Glowing Wall

A Central Informal Meeting Room was created in the shape of a Pearl, Yes a Pearl, to symbolise Dubai being the Pearl of the Middle Eastern Desert! Made in Pure Corian finish, with upholstered seating fixed inside, and in order to provide additional acoustic insulation and add to the aesthetic nature of the Pearl, a fabric canopy was created from the Ghutra, the traditional fabric used by the Arabs to cover their head.

Yet another novel feature was the presence of the Phone Booths, Two Phone Booths placed beside each other to house employees who need to make important telephone conversations with their foreign counterparts. The Phone Booth is a cosy room, filled with juxtaposed images of Telephones of different kinds being pasted all over the four walls. The Front facia is covered with an abstract disproportionate interpretation of the Burj Al Arab and the Emirates Towers.



Phone Booths



Overall View of the Office Space

Visualizing such an Office and seeing it being built up in front of you just like the way you imagined, is believe me the most satiating experiences ever. It also does one more thing; It makes you wish you were working for Google!! They have everything a person needs in there and even more. They have massage chairs, foosball tables, PSP3, unlimited food, drink and other games, private funky cabins and much more.

Everyone is Proud of my “Achievement”, everyone here at my Office, My Professors, My friends and I am sure even my parents even though they haven’t been very vocal about it! But the question is; Is it the Best I can do? Nah…. Being Great just isn’t good enough, is it?! LOL! No it definitely isn’t! Fingers crossed and waiting with great expectations for the Next exciting Project to get COURIED to me...

I remain,

In Anticipation!

Oh… Btw you may ask me ‘What Did you learn from your brief stint at GOOGLE??”….Well… uhmm, You DONT need to be in a SUIT to be taken seriously!!!

The BIG BASH!

"Pura naam… Amitabh Bachan, baap ka naam… Harivansh Rai Bachchan, Maa ka naam, Teji Bachchan, Gaon Allahabad. Umar Adasath saal ...”

Mr. Amitabh Bachchan!! The Name needs absolutely no introduction or a prelude of any kind. The man, the legend, the persona all seem to hold a grand indescribable charisma that remains unrivalled. He is a phenomenon!

                                        

He is the Demi- god of the Indian Film Industry, a true legend, and fantastic Human being (am sure he is, after all he is a LIBRAN).

An entrepreneur, politician, game show host, a singer, voiceover artist, and an ACTOR par excellence - the roles he has played are immortal and he is idolized millions of crazy fans like me. Multitude of awards and recognition gravitates towards him endlessly as flies to a flame, year after year after year. HE cries and that’s it we break down as well. The minute we see a tear glistening Mr. Bachchan’s eye, there is a simultaneous tug to our heart strings.

But his affair with stardom was anything but smooth. But what is a life without turbulence, how can we appreciate the beauty of a butterfly without it having to struggle through its tedious and tiring metamorphosis stage?

Mr. Bachchan holds a double degree in M.A and used to work as a freight broker with Bird & Co, a shipping firm based in Kolkata which he quit to pursue acting! Thank goodness for US!

What would we do without him? Without the angry young man in Zanjeer, the despondent doctor in Anand, the jealous insecure struggling singer husband in Abhimaan, the dying man in Majboor, the fake Botany professor in Chupke Chupke, the intense powerful character in Deewar, the faithful friend and passionate lover in Sholay, the loverlorn poet in Kabhie Kabhie, the endearing Anthony Gonsalves in Amar Akbar Anthony, the wanted underworld kingpin in Don, the illegitimate child in the Hugely popular Laawaris, the unfaithful husband in Silsila, the alcoholic in Sharaabi, the gangster and urban dacoit in Agneepath, the dogmatic Narayan Shankar in Mohabattein, the psychotic villain in Aks, the aristocratic father in Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham, the talented, fanatical teacher in Black, the Godfather in Sarkar, the Sexy Sam in Kabhie Alvida Na Kehna, the old man enamoured by his daughter’s friend in Nishabdh, the Ghost in Bhootnath and as GOD himself in God Tussi Great ho!

We have been blessed to be able to see so many many avatars of this great man, who has not feared to experiment, with his looks, characters and genres. Mr. Bachchan’s unconventional looks, being dark, lean, and standing tall at 6’2” all worked in his favor in making him exceptional and truly UNIQUE. It’s surprising to think that these very factors deterred his initially chances in when it came to acting roles. But his deep baritone, the amazing texture and gravelly voice just add to overall BRAND! It’s just amazing to able to witness all his versatility and flexibility.

On the occasion of his 68th Birthday celebrations, I wish him a long healthy life blessed with even more creativity and ingenuity and I hope and pray that many many wonderful roles come along his way and he continues to entertain us with his wonderful personality and self!

LONG LIVE Mr. BACHCHAN!!!

Waise bhi… "Hai kisi maa ke laal me himmat, jo INKEY saamne aaye?"

SHOW and TELL - Middle East Interiors

My First Official Interview as a Designer... Yipee!! :D :D Its a Small bit... But small begnnings lead to HUGE Opportunities, dont they! :) :)

 

SoulMATE!

I am okay, with the idea of sharing. In fact, I share a lot many things of mine with others. This class of *others* is a distinct group and it includes both immediate family and close friends. Some I share willingly and some just happens. I have been lucky enough to get to know more about Sharing, rather involuntarily.

I am the sort person who strongly believes in the Divine Intervention and looks for the same in ALL sorts of places. I try to look for the DEEPER meaning on almost everything that happens in my life, though most of the times there isn’t any… lol… I get drawn to People by a multitude of things, their looks, intelligence, friendless, charm, personality, likes, dislikes or their DANCING skills.

My soul mate drew me towards her by her Birthday! Yes, Birthday, we share our birthday. 3rd of October 1986!

She is everything that I am NOT and I am everything that she is NOT… We are similarly different in all things that we do; the way we think and the way we behave the way we perceive and the way we reciprocate. This entry of mine is for her, Famita Abdul Latheef! My Fem, M soulmate! These are 24 different bitter sweet memories that I have joted down for you… so that you spent some time thinking about me…. Missing me… :)

1. Fem, remember when we first met? It was in the Manipal Bus, while returning home… I was chatting away to glory with all the folks in the bus, fighting with the driver and all of sudden, you ask, “Are you a member of the Lions Club? Have you performed there”… lol…

2. Remember how you used to call me before my stop and ask me to get something for you to eat, during RAMADAN?

3. Remember the time when I told you Aunty will be waiting outside for you today, when you were going home in the car INSIDE of the Bus?

4. Remember how we freaked out n fooled Anish! LOL

5. Remember us getting dressed for My Farewell Party like crazy possessed people?

6. Remember how we used to randomly have ice cream cravings and rush to Baskins Robbins?

7. Remember the long long phone calls in the middle of the night and you faking like you were sleeping to fool Granny?

8. Remember our *Washing away the Evil Eye* Sequence?

9. Remember our Weekly Saturday Breakfast sessions and Beach meeting?

10. Remember how we used to go over pictures of random people and criticize the poor souls for no apparent reason or fault of theirs?

11. Remember you standing me up for some JERK and going for the Spring Fest without telling me?

12. Remember the number of times have I given you my silent treatment? :S

13. Remember us trying to complete all your advertising assignments with least amount of plagiarism? Lol… An Epic Fail!

14. Remember our Pasta n movie nights?

15. Remember us going through all the matrimony sites over and over again for some sort of cheap thrill?

16. Remember all our Thursday night walking sessions? Walking down from your house to mine talking, yelling, laughing and gossiping.

17. Remember the Two of us going Rinky’s house after her apparent suicide attempt?? Thinking she was uhmm… No more… lol Though our lives were in a mess we felt it was our moral obligation to sort out her issues.

18. Remember our group crying session over our silly immature heartbreaks?

19. Remember our Random *CHAAT* sessions?

20. Remember how went searching for your perfect engagement dress?

21. Remember our completely disastrous and accidental New Year’s Eve?? Lol the crying, dressing up, running over to Wafi, being refused Food, the drive to Jumeriah, being followed back home, the Hardees dinner cum breakfast at 2.00 in the morning…

22. Remember the day when you were leaving for your wedding and I was weeping uncontrollably? :)

23. Remember our last Birthday and the blunders there? LOL

24. Remember ME and how much I love you?

I can go on and on for long, with the kind of memories we SHARE, but that not what is require… not at the moment. Gal, meeting you was my providence, Us becoming friends was a conscious and definite choice, but falling in love with you, babes… Well I had absolutely no control over that. I miss you so bloody much!

And Ye, Happy Birthday BABES!

A Colorless Journey.

KERALA – Land of Enthralling visuals... captivating locales... land of culture, religion, drama and beauty, a Land perfect for the ultimate vacation of the mind and the body.

Thanks to my colleague, Neethu, I had a chance to watch a Promotion Video on Kerala, issued by the Kerala Tourism Industry called Your Moment is waiting. This movie by Kerala Tourism is basically to attract the International audience to Kerala and in turn exponentially increase the growth in Tourism sector.

Well, I saw the video… Uhmmm… In a word, it’s Different!

Firstly, as an expat Keralite, I cannot identify myself with the Video. The Video should have ideally triggered a tug to my heart strings, instilled feeling of shame and guilt at having seen so less of my homeland. But NO… the only thing it succeeds in doing was getting me scared, confused and disappointed.

It’s a particularly preposterous take on Kerala, much like the recent blunder, Raavan. If they wanted to 'capture the soul of Kerala'; I think that’s it what was the initial intention was, it definitely didn’t work out. Not for me at least. In my perception, it was a twisted, violated, beaten and traumatized version of the otherwise calm and composed Kerala’s scenic beauty.

As we have seen in the movies, Our film makers make it a point to spoon feed us… they are just to terrified to let go, making films scrupulously, with plots, subplots, twists and packing it with mindless nonsense. The concept of leaving many things unsaid is completely absent.

Most importantly the images are not powerful enough; the Colorist of the Video totally ruined the natural colors, giving everything a largely Grey overtone. The only captivating scene is none other than the last shot where in the Girl interacts with the Elephant. That I believe was an interesting and arresting shot. It was a highly abstract and inconcrete interpretation of Kerala. It didn’t touch upon the exotic aesthetic beauty or the Supernatural spiritualism that seems to be the maker’s prime motive.

The blatant Concentration on the Model, took away most of the charm of the video in itself. Having an asymmetrical face, she lacks both the European Energy and the Asian allure. She almost was like alien being amid the wild African Forests.

The poor Kathakali artist, Kalamandalam Gopi has been reduced to a mere caricature, and forget tourist, even residents who see someone like this in the early fifties making such expressions would doubt the man’s mental stability. How inappropriate!

The music used for the video is too tribal and raw to have any correlation to the Subject of the Video. The Most important and crucial part of Kerala, its dance forms, its temples, its people, its tranquility, its resourcefulness, were all pushed to the back, with the Model trust forward as a Focus of Attraction.

Quite Honestly... It was a beautiful video but is disappointing in terms of Promotional, inspirational video... Not really an encouraging promotion to showcase Kerala to the world! And Oh… It also forgot to include the most important statutory warning to alert the prospective visitors about the famous Kerala Bandhs!

The TASK!

Sitting idle is completely against my principles, and therefore today… this evening waiting for the traffic to clear off on the Beach road, Jumeriah… I thought up an idea to keep me occupied through the 31 traffic signal, starting from the signal in front of Wild Wadi to the Signal to the Sana Signal leading to my home. The idea? Well… 31 signals and 31 things to do… I decided I should think of 20 likes, 1 love and 10 hates… For each signal ONE! Trust me, its therapeutic.

Let me start off…

Signal 1 - I like the feeling of anxiety.

Signal 2 - I like staring at my face in the mirror for hours.

Signal 3 - I like Haji ali’s Water Melon Juice

Signal 4 - I like my hair, when I wake up in morning after having slept with Wet hair.

Signal 5 - I like it when the car stereo's bass is soooo strong that it vibrates my whole body.

Signal 6 - I like boys with husky voices and girls with pretty faces.

Signal 7 - I like blogging.

Signal 8 - I like Romantic movies.

Signal 9 - I like Prithivi Raj.

Signal 10 - I like Sarees.

Signal 11 - I like the Beach.

Signal 12 - I like Basin Robbins - Burj Al Emlak Ice cream.

Signal 13 - I like cooking.

Signal 14 - I like dancing.

Signal 15 - I like singing at the top of my voice.

Signal 16 - I like being alone.

Signal 17 - I like Babies.

Signal 18 - I like Teaching.

Signal 19 - I like Beauty.

Signal 20 - I like shoes.

Signal 21 - I love MYSELF!

Signal 22 - I hate Feeling fat!

Signal 23 - I hate Noise.

Signal 24 - I hate Alzheimer's and schizophrenia a lot.

Signal 25 - I hate always being the responsible one.

Signal 26 - I hate Rats and Snakes.

Signal 27 - I hate double standards.

Signal 28 - I hate hypocrites.

Signal 29 - I hate being late.

Signal 30 - I hate DS.

Signal 31 - I hate crying.

And so this way I reached home… :D Now what do I do 2mm? :)

Respect!

I believe in One God! Supreme, Ultimate, Illimitable, Omnipresent and Omnipotent!

Yes, this is MY definition of GOD! In fact it is the same in all the Religions of the World as well, or least that is what I comprehend from my very modest understanding and knowledge of Theology. Everyone seems to be aware of this actuality, but very few of us actually understand the Greatness of this.

Hinduism: Hindus believe in one supreme God who created the universe.

Islam: God is One and Only.

Christianity: All things are made and came into existence through One and Only God.

This is what is preached in the three major religions of the world. If we look closer all of the other religions, they will also convey the same message indisputably. Yet there are indifferences, major differences in the way people from these Religions behave, reciprocate and LIVE!

Let me explain… If I were to ask every Muslim or Christian, a simple question of Have you read the Quran? Or have you read the Bible? Respectively, I will most certainly get a positive answer. I can say this with absolutely no Doubt. In fact turn to your right ask your colleague or pick up the phone and ask your friends. I am pretty sure you will get the same answer … YES!

Now another question, How Many of us Hindus have read the Gita?

With personal experience I can guarantee that in about 100 people, we would be lucky to find at least one person who has. It’s unfortunate, that many Hindus around the world do not practice the religion. Practicing a religion isn’t unfashionable or boring; in fact it is an enriching and a life altering activity. The Bhagvad Gita is the Song of God; it’s one way to connect to God and all Godly elements. It is a self sustained and practical Guide to life. By reading the Gita, we just arming ourselves with methods to lead a Righteous and Complete life. Through

Devotional Service, Action, Practice and Meditation ultimately our knowledge is what is increasing.

In reality, I have noticed that we Hindus do not have ENOUGH respect towards our religion. I have seen the respect, commitment, devotion and loyalty in the eyes of Christians and Muslims, which I so long to see in the eyes of Hindus. Maybe I am wrong, but I think not. It is wonderful that Muslims and Christians read their holy books and take it very seriously. The degree to which our Muslim and Christian brothers worship is far far ahead of our level. You may ask, who decides this level, true, no one can actually measure the right level of worship and surrender. But let’s face it; all of us deep in our hearts are completely aware of the wariness of the situation.

The most offending thing is that, most Hindus decide to display their comic timing and sense of humor at the expense of their religion. Making fun of the Hindu God’s and Goddess seem to be very fashionable thing to do. Take any Film or comedy show, for instance, we can quite easily see how Lord Krishna is made fun of for this numerous wives or Lord Ganpathi for his eating habits. Many a times have I heard people crack jokes on Draupadi, Shri Ram and even on the Ramayana and The Mahabharata. Why? To laugh? It’s a pity that one has to resort to such cheap thrills in life. I have never once seen any Muslims or Christians mock or target God, be it Allah or Jesus. It is definitely something we should imbibe from them, Respect. It is with Great Respect that they take God’s name, never once in vain!

I believe we need to have sincerely, loyally, faithfully give more respect to this Great Religion, the oldest living Religion of the World. Let’s NOT ridicule it! Because if we do, the joke is on US!