CAUSE & EFFECT!

I will not lose Faith - Mushu (Mulan)

These are the days, my head, heart and mind are filled to the BRIM. My heart keeps pumping my head and my mind with so many many things that too at an exuberant speed, that many a times I feel a sense of suffocation, a sense of profuse overflow. The very random and unrelated thoughts are hitting me right now. I know, I will lose it, if I don't pen them down. Not only will I lose my thoughts, I might lose my mind as well If I don’t jot them, release them from my head! And What better ground can I get than my enduring, uncomplaining blog! Talking about my blog, in the recent days I have also had stomach criticisms about what I write in my blog and what I don’t. Really? Do I need to feel apologetic about expressing my feelings also? I surely hope not!!  And today I am just going to BE RANDOM! Randomness is Beauty! Isn’t it??

Day before yesterday I met this prospective client, who wanted her Office to Chic… Now that is a confusing word. CHIC! My chic could be perceived as dull and grab, whereas I could perceive your chic as gaudy and over the top. I was just able to tell her this and my ever enthusiastic VP Sales, an Irish man with absolutely no DESIGN sense decides to literally praise the client for her EXCELLENT Choice! Ugh… Who is the Designer here?? Is it ME, armed with my Masters of Design and 5 years of Industry experience or is it You, with no degree or forget the degree, no school leaving certificate in the first place, and zero experience in the department of Design, built and better still in Dubai. I am New BOY, you say, then kindly ZIP IT!! And Trust me when one crosses over to the unhealthy side of 50’s you can no longer address yourself as the boy, forget NEW! *And No he didn’t stop here, he went on to ask the client if she wanted to experiment with contrasting elements or would like to approach the design radically!!!* At this point I was all geared up and ready to take a plunge from the nearby window. The said window being the 25^th floor of the one of the leading towers in JLT! I mean what did he mean to establish here! I put this across to my very wonderful Boss, requesting him to silence his white doll so that us brown ones can WORK without being put through such embarrassing situations and all he has to say is *You need to use your Brain and his looks to get more Clients*! With that I decided there is no point in trying to reason with a WALL!

Going through various websites, looking for the IDEAL chic, I came across such wonderful images that I slowly but steadily had a collection of Images all domestic, cozy, residential and finally starting dreaming of my ideal Home Interiors!! You have got to give it up from some of the designers, really classy and *CHIC* ideas!! Sharing a few of the Wonderful Designs I am completely in Love with!

What subtle textures, neutral colours, and such a beautiful ambiance! 

 Pop art meets industrial Chic!

 Bright and inviting spaces.

 Eclectic, Modern, subtle and simply wow!

After a good amount of daydreaming and living in my dream house for about 15 minutes or so, I finally came to my senses I realized I needed to get serious about find Chic Office interiors, turns out after all this drama about creating a chic office space etc, what the client is really happy with this is the usual run of the mill Steel, glass, marble Office with little of minimum design elements! Humph!! So much for *Her excellent choice of style*. End of story she too turned out to one of the many TW’s I have encountered in the past month!! By TW I mean the TIME WASTERS!! Oh there seems to be a tsunami of these kind of strange creatures. They have absolutely no value for their time, our time or just TIME in general!

Talking about Time, or rather timing, Today was brilliant!! We have this little office thing of playing *Dum charades*, on the less busy days, festive occasions actually more precisely every time the BOSS steps out of the Office for a relatively longer time frame. This, you must note, is a  rather phenomenon and WE take immense pride in retaliating to the cruel atrocities of our one and only vertically challenged, horizontally endowed, queasy, squirmy, twitchy MAN in DIAPERS, A.K.A My BOSS! So this morning, thoroughly thrilled at him having stepped out of the Emirate, we grabbed the occasions and just as we gathered to play our game, HE walks IN!!! It was like time FROZE. Everything that transpired after that was in a CRYSTAL CLEAR slow motion. All of us FROZE! Right from the Regional Manager to the Design Manager, to the Bosses P.A! It was a sight to SEE!!! I froze, acted as though I was jotting something down on my note pad and after the brief acting, ran outside to control my irrepressible bouts of Laughter!! Its soo SAD, in fact pathetic that our BOSS gets so violent and aggressive when he sees his employees bonding and spending 15 minutes of their free time connecting with each other, out of the nine hours that we work continuously! In fact in retaliation, I have further taken yet another 30 minutes off to write down this Blog entry of mine! Hehehehe!! :D :D *Evil Grin*

Unbelievable! It’s pathetic and pitiable to see a man of this stature behave in such cheap and lowly fashion. In fact he has already passed on the word that he was in a good mind to blast all of us, but he controlled his feelings, so that this anger will increase in its Intensity and then he will be able to tear apart each and every one of us individually! Make your life miserable it seems! ROFL! I pity this Man for this blatant stupidity and his non ability to see the wonderful capabilities, strengths and the plus points of the people that work for him! I really WONDER what is wrong with this MAN!

Wonder! Talking about wondering, a friend of mine, VJ, just sent me a few lines, which very well sum up Me as a person.

I am WONDER WOMAN…

I WONDER where I left my keys,

I WONDER how I put on Weight,

I WONDER where my Money went, (Or should I say My Appa’s Money!!! :D :D )

I WONDER where I put my Phone,

I Often WONDER why I WONDER…

Wonderful, I say!

Before I end, a Quick Note to myself, “Don’t think too much, Neelu… You will create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place!” I know, nothing is going to be changed overnight. But the Key word is TRY!

Talking About Try, I need to TRy on some NEW SHOES!! Oh How I wish for a GIANT SHOE CABINET!!!! Sighhhh!! Oghaayyy, Let me STOP now!! :D

The Week that went BY…

How time flies by, when you are tied up is quite simply unbelievable! I was just trying to visualize the whole of last week and it seems to be all in a haze, in fast forward motion. There have been so many activities, running around, fights, *Aww* moments, peace, tension, frustrations, disgust, and as if to round it all off, the past few hours of FEAR. Plain simple unadulterated Fear! The worst part of fear, I have learnt is not knowing when it will END. When your fear is going to be put to rest. Not being able to confide in anyone or anything as to how you feel. The lack of CONTROL. The Helpless that accompanies this fear. Dear God, Please make sure I don’t have to go through fear… OFTEN!

My Life, as it turns out to be is nothing less of a MEGA Tele Serial. There’s so much of action, DRAMA, multiple volcanic emotions, 1000 volt jolts, fabulous background music (both within my head and outside as well) and more. Oh Wait, I forgot, tears, lots and lots of tears.

As I talked about earlier, the week packed within its 7 days, a trip to the Burj Khalifa with a kid, or rather a Man in his diapers. Forgive me, for I had never in my wildest of  dreams imagined a 47 year old Man to be running about excitedly in the Burj Khalifa! A birthday surprise!! Planning, shopping, re-planning, listing and what not. I tend to take listing out my daily chores and errands quiet seriously, so I have mentioned in my earlier blogs as well, but this time around I declare that I am OBSESSED with IT! Although I am STILL surprised when my friends call me BREE (from the famously infamous Desperate Housewives.) Am I really that neurotic, obsessive–compulsive, and anal retentive?? Not sure… not sure.

One day not so far off I would love to actually translate of all this drama onto the silver screen, be it TV or perhaps even a movie. I am quite sure it will far pretty well, provided I SPICE it up with the current trend and the much need adult, naughty, double meaning jokes, demean women, show them in a horrible light, sprinkle few erotic scenes over it and voila I would have a BLOCKBUSTER. Whatever happened to Cinema being a creative medium? A Form of expression. I am avid Cinema watcher. A Movie buff. I like to analyze, ponder and try to understand the line of thought, the bubble diagram, the flow and the final product. Its correlation, expression and thereby appreciate its CREATOR.

Unfortunately, the movies I get to watch these days are absolutely NOT in this realm. But quiet frankly, last night, as all of us at home geared up to watch Dileep’s last offering, I had just one expectation, to LAUGH! Unfortunately, that too was too much to ask for.

In Jose Thomas' 'Mayamohini', Mohini, Our very own Dileep dressed as a woman, is portrayed as the ultimate seductress. She flirts uninhibitedly with almost anything that looks Male, presses herself close against unsuspecting men, and most of all enjoys all the attention that she gathers in the process. She flaunts her charms (or whatever that was) without any reserve what so ever and very soon all the MEN around her fall for her.

Perhaps it isn't fair to expect much of a story, there IS an inner idea, that is expected to rake up some amount of laughter, and the entire film of about three hours and ten minutes is built around it painfully.

I say painfully because the last half an hour of the film so slow and unexciting that it is almost pain inducing! There is plenty of humor involving Mohini in the film, but it all boils down to your taste!! The thinly veiled double entendres in abundance, as a friend beforehand warned me almost all the jokes are adult. MEN seem to have literally gone nuts over Mohini and her *voluptuous body*, and with so many lecherous, sex-starved men roaming around, the happenings cannot be that SANE anyway. But THIS was way over board.

I'm aghast at the sheer symbolism at play in a certain scene where a bus horn, I must add is Violated to say the least! Imaginative? YES! Undignified? HELL YA! The scene will no less spell bind you for a bit! Guaranteed! Let me add there are quite a few of these SPELL BINDING scenes but I rather not reveal any more details. 

It's an overstuffed and lazily plotted film that *shouldn’t* work for you! Its long, slow, Vulgar, cheap, crass, demeaning and I can go on and on about it! Stay at home and watch those *Tele brand Ads* over and over again with a plate of popcorn in hand, trust me even THAT is much Better!

Let me end on a slightly different note, on something I experienced today. Ambiguity is the worst cancer of all - simply not knowing where someone is can affect you in ways you wouldn’t imagine. This could be a few seconds, minutes or hours. I have truly understood the significance, importance and magnitude of three simple words. Stay in TOUCH!

Dear… dear… dear CLKP, Stay in touch, Always! 

Back on TRACK!

Brilliant! It’s Thursday and I’m back to blogging. I have been dying to get started this week. Why?

117 days. 3 months and 26 days.

Yes, it's been exactly 117 days or 3 months and 26 days since I have last blogged! Actually let me rephrase that... It's been 117 days since I have put myself to use... Creatively!! No blogging, no cooking, no photography, no sketching, no painting, no cooking and No dancing even! Nothing at all!! It's a shame! An Absolute Shame!!

But this is NOT to say that these three months were a waste! They were absolutely not. They were beautiful months with its fine share of ups, downs and Lots more!! Sigh...

But just not CREATIVE! Not Productive!! Despite the fact that I have been regularly going to work and working on multiple designs, there is nothing I can confidently say challenged my creativity, my design potential or my intellect. It's all the same mundane and unexciting humdrum. Hmphhh...

Although I have been fully absorbed by the things I have been doing, I have to admit I’ve really missed blogging and everything it involves. In fact last month, I had a fellow blogger ask Me, "Writer, it's been long that something got posted. Hope with God's grace all things are hail and healthy out there." And that when I actually thought, really is all WELL?? If it is then WHY am I not writing the way I used to... Little did he know about me completely dissociating myself from all things creative!  I wonder what he would say if he knew about that as well.

It has felt really strange not being able to keep to my regular routine. My time away really has shown me how important blogging has become to me. And about how many people, friends and family included actually read my blog and MISS it. Now it is important for me to regain the momentum.

The last few months has been a constant and sometimes frustrating juggling of priorities, stress (yes even for me) and working against the clock.

I did at times feel guilty about leaving my blog without me.  But today I can return to normal which is why I jumped out of bed in a state of excitement. Back to the blogosphere, Facebook, Twitter and all those things I’ve realized that have become so important to me.

Life is meant to be enthralling and passion is what makes our life fulfilling. Everyone is capable of pursuing their passion. Passion provides us motivation to keep moving whenever life tries to knock us down. It is our shield protecting us against life’s KNOCKS.

When we are driven by our passions we start to see our problems as life opportunities. When many run from challenges, WE stand up to them and put everything in.

So from today I need to get back into the swing of posting to my blog daily, and responding to my comments, and reading other blogs, so there’s much to do.

Sometimes we let go the things that really matter to us. Which is definitely pathetic!!

Is it a lack of confidence? A fear of looking stupid? Or do you have so many ideas, you simply don’t know where to start? I would like to think it's the last one.

Becoming a blogger impassioned me with direction, purpose and provided me a platform to share ideas with others. I was moved to share what has been valuable to me in creating a happy and healthy life, and sharing my passion, ultimately making a difference.

For many reasons, uhmmm... I rather NOT get into the reasons, as even I clearly don't know what they are! Could it be a sudden lack of interest?? A Sense of intense lethargy??  An impulsive feeling of "Why Write"?? I really don't know. But what I do know is that I am BACK! I intend to WRITE, DANCE, COOK, SKETCH, CLICK and do all that I used to and MORE! Why not? Not everyone can, so why not try and nourish the little that HE has been extremely kind enough endow me with!  

Maybe I might run out of topic, maybe they are not as good as they used to be, maybe... I don't know... all I know is, I have promised myself... Yet again, let me add... to be sincere, incessant and persistent in my blogging amongst the rest of the things. A Tad bit late for resolutions I know... but Aahh.. what the hell!! Change is Good, No?? :D

It feels great to be back!!!