Why?

I have been thinking, in fact for quite some time about relationships. Yes Relationships between friends, colleagues, acquaintances etc. Thinking about what effects these relationships, what is to be done to retain these relationships, and What should be done in order to avoid any conflicts or misunderstandings at all. I am the sort of person who has a lot issues only and only because of the very fact that I THINK a Lot. At any given time and place, I am constantly creating a Burj Khalifa of thoughts. Sometimes because of my overactive thought process and imagination, the thin line between the reality and fiction gets so blurred! But a few recent incidents have made me realize that no, it’s not in my head alone and that some things are completely beyond our control and no matter what we do, things that need to go wrong will go wrong.

We spend the whole of our life chasing things that we don’t have and when we finally get them, something else has been added to our forever expanding *Things to Achieve*. In our mad rush to amass all these material aspects of life, we also get a few unwanted and unnecessary side effects like Jealousy, insecurity, timidity, uncertainty, etc. And these side effects are the very things that completely ruin relationships.

I for one am the sort of person who is easily affected by people behaving strangely. Initially I was of the opinion that Women are the ones who can literally be blinded by jealousy, but I have come to realize that even Men can’t seem to escape this horrible emotion as well. Jealousy can really distract people so much that they fail to spot things in front of their eyes, therefore exposing relationships with other individuals to extreme danger.

Many friendships of my mine have purely ended because of the sense of competition that creeps into the heads of my friends. They cease to be happy at my happiness and begin to plot different ways to beat me… But why? I never once left the need to compete with my friends. I know of people who have gone and cut their hair after seeing me cut my hair or get a boyfriend to show how superior they are to me. I wonder many times whether they even pause of a minute to think, how I would feel, when they do these kinds of things.

A few of my *so called* Friends also have this thing of not telling me things when something good tends to happen in their lives whereas I am almost always the Numero Uno person to know about their sorrows. And now why the hell is that? Why not tell me, your achievements as well? Don’t I deserve to be happy for you or are you scared I will take it all away? And why is it expected that I should tell everything to all my friends?

I am expected not to have any competition or any feeling of longing, where as everyone else in this world entitled to do so. Right?

Ah well… I guess it just me, and my stupid thoughts, I don’t think I am making any sense at the moment… Maybe it’s all in my head... Or is it? :S