After a long medical sabbatical of almost a month,
I finally got back to work yesterday!
It was a moment of both joy and caution. Joy
because I was productive once again! Cautious as I am wary of any more illness
coming way!
It's no fun falling sick, but what is even
more worse is when your mentally, emotionally and physically down, ALL at the
same time. To top it all, I was the unlucky one to have perfectly managed do so
during the holiday season! Christmas,
New Year's Eve, Dubai Shopping Festival and SALES and instead of frolicking,
eating, having fun and SHOPPING, I
decide to writhe in pain, moan, sulk and put myself under house arrest!! Beat
it!
I have been longing to go away, to some far...
faraway place, where it's just Me and my "Tanhayee" (Loneliness). Oh, No.. I am perfectly
fine. But there comes a point where in you just want to be with YOURSELF and no
one else. Have a vacation with yourself, in fact I have been in a similar frame
of mind a while back as well. Read Wanderlust.
Much as I was desperately longing for a
change, both in scenery as well as in heart (Don't ask!), I was NOT at all
prepared for what I had in store. Come September 13th 2012, and I saw myself
being beaten about both physically and emotionally thanks to the "Omnipotent".
My dear friend Maimoona, told me recently, that, "God only tests those
people whom he truly loves and he gives only as much as we can take, i.e. both
Good and Bad". One thing is for sure, HE has a pretty wrong idea about HOW
MUCH I CAN TAKE! I definitely can take a lot more of GOOD you know!
During my time out of the real world, I
actually understood that I have been personally handpicked by HIM as his very
own plaything. An Eye Allergy, Blisters
in the Mouth, followed by Ulcers, Viral Fever, Losing my voice, Food Poisoning,
a Car Accident, a chronic condition, Allergies, and what not! I asked for a BREAK and HE took it in its LITERAL SENSE.
But one thing I have come to realize is that returning
to work after an extended sick leave is not that difficult, as opposed to
coming back from say a happy vacation (a
phenomenon I seem to have experienced ages ago!).
When I decided I would join back,
I was not still not sure I was all okay, but then I thought the earlier you resume
daily activities, the quicker and more fully I am likely to recover. By getting
myself up and moving as well as facing routine challenges, work can be
therapeutic in fact for the mind and body. It at least gives me something to
think about, something positive that is. Staying at home has some definite
negatives, one of them being, FREE TIME.
When you have unlimited free time in your hands and an
empty mind at your disposal, we are BOUND to have negative thoughts. (Sannu... BOUND! LOL) This negativity being triggered by
the ever so informative newspapers, and overtly dramatic, high on sugar content
and elaborately romantic Hindi TV Serials! But if it were up to my Mum and Appa,
they would say, The negativity is all because of the numerous criminal, mystery/
horror, crime drama and police procedural's that I watched day in and day out
during my involuntary time off. I completely disagree!
These series are if anything ENERGETIC!! They are like an
instant adrenaline booster, it makes you want to stand up, go and catch a few
of those criminals and beat the crap out of them and set them right. While I am
at the topic of beating up, there are certain other people I would really love
to beat up! Certain 'Mummy's pallu
loving' Boys, certain people who expect you to totally forget your unhappiness
and sickness, always think and be happy for them, and certain people who refuse to leave you
alone and make you dwell and drown more and more in a pond of unhappiness and pessimism,...
etc, etc kind of People!
Okay I agree,
these shows do get you a tad bit aggressive! But they are all legitimate cases,
I assure you.
Coming back to the topic at hand, I am BACK to WORK, barring
a two repulsive faces and one obnoxious "Voice" I had to deal with, I
am glad I am BACK! I am BACK to a new positive zone (Hopefully) and armed with
a elite, exclusive set of people and things in my life people (having thrown
out the unreliable, unstable and confused set). Since I was anyway letting GO
of "Certain" destructiveness, I have grabbed the opportunity to let go of ALL unpleasantness!
And I pray HE realizes that this favorite plaything too
deserves a couple of good things thrown in periodically to give me more power
to take on HIS very unpredictable and painful Games.
Till then it's me, Neelu reporting back to Work! YAY! Touch Wood!
