HOSTing a Letdown

Okay, I like Stephanie Meyer. 

In case you don't know who she is... Author... Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse... Breaking Dawn, and The Host!)

I really like the way she writes. Don't ask me how, but I see a connection. In some weird, odd, random and definitely CRAZY way I see a  bond! Enough said.

I love collecting things, be it movies, books, songs, pictures, and whatever else that catches my fancy. I am what I like to call an Eclectic LIBRARIAN of sorts. Ever since I was small, I dreamed of having a LIBRARY all to myself! Complete collection of all my favorite authors, actors, singers, musicians, from A to Z (arranged chronologically under different languages, and alphabetically, my Obsessive compulsive self can have it NO other way! Ahan!). Bless every single person who is willingly (or unwillingly) going to help me in this endeavor! You guys are BRILL!!

Clearly, all this won't happen overnight, so I have started my ''Collection" and as a part of this I brought the "THE HOST" right when I was bringing together the whole Twilight series. I didn't read it until much later, though, I was far too enamored by Edward and Bella to bother about it! But when I finally managed to read, I LOVED IT! I have read book at least five times since then. I can, in fact, tell you most of the conversations between the characters as well! Yep, I can!

So you can imagine my excitement when I heard of the movie coming out! But when I saw the lead actors, my enthusiasm dropped a couple of notches down. Then again I wanted to watch the movie to see how they would have shoot certain crucial scenes and how the whole chemistry between the two main characters (Melanie Stryder and Wanderer, One Body two minds) works out.

Disappointment is an understatement! Utter Failure! Poor adaption, bad casting, slow, silly, stupid and soporific. I cannot begin to express my utter frustration at such a lack luster product!

Maybe I am not in their target audience category, but trust me these tweens (who made Twilight a MASSIVE Success)  who are disillusioned with abandoned Victorian-style romanticism will NOT associate themselves to these completely unattractive star cast!

What I love about Stephanie is her quaintly archaic ideas on morality, old-fashioned love and emotional dilemmas of being stuck in between two cross species men. This time around, Meyer,  centered on a leading lady whose dual personality hinges on Body Snatchers like notion. Trouble is, the future depicted is created not by us, but by aliens (A race of aliens named Souls, small silvery beings who look like furry balls with tiny fiber-optic cables, who can survive only by colonizing other creatures and finding a Host! They crawl into the back of the necks and take over the body) who have taken over the planet and enslaved its human population.

They're not such bad fellows these souls: Considerate, always mindful of the common good, utterly peaceful, they transform the whole world into one big modern colony populated by Valium-ingesting Stepford Wives ( How i love that movie!). They wear immaculate white outfits and drive sleek sports cars. By comparison, the human survivors live savage, angry, sweaty, smelly lives.

Meyer's story poses several interesting questions about the nature of human identity (are we our minds or our bodies?) and that perennial cliché, Can humans cohabit without hatred and violence? But the pace is too apathetic, the characters too laid-back. And the WORST part, The Host isn't even good at the romance. There's not very much fervor, no zeal and NO passion on screen!!

Once inside a host, the Soul takes over, killing off the original personality. This is what happened with the Movie as well, it took over the Book and KILLED IT! (No, not in the way we SHOULD in the Gym... this is in the  BAD BAD Way!)

I AM HUNGRY.

Yes. Forever and Always.

I accept I am guilty of eating all the TIME! Well, you have to give it to me, hunger is harder to decipher than thirst!! 

 Call me the victim of FAUX HUNGER! But turns out I am not the ONLY one! 

So what do you know, fellow hungry peeps? We may be actually eating for the WRONG REASONS!  GULP!

                                        

Potato Chips? Sandwiches? Salads? Rice? CUPCAKES! WE are GAME, aren't we!

Irrespective of whether or not I have had food, I am hungry.  I can eat and be satiated for 30 min or so and then BAM!... I am Hungry, AGAIN.

I would like to blame my Liver! Yes Liver. If it weren't for this organ of mine sending the WRONG signals to the Hypothalamus, I wouldn't be eating so much, that too so Often. Damn you, Oh Confused Liver!

The story of my life may as well be named the HUNGER GAMES! I am constantly playing with food and my baffled hypothalamus. But one look at those extra calories, and I am like, WHAT! Did I eat all of that!! Lays Cheese flavored chips, why you do this to ME?? Why??

I was so hungry yesterday, or rather blinded by this conniving liver of mine, that I actually dropped and broke my favorite RED nail polish bottle dreaming about sinking my teeth into some scrumptious paneer filled dosa, with some spicy white chutney, some piping hot sambhar and teekhi onion chutney! YUM!  Too bad I had to spend the next ONE hour cleaning, sweeping and removing the red stains from all over the beautiful white flooring in my room! Tsk! But, when I finally managed to bite into my dosa, it did feel well deserved! (Trust me to find some "Divine Intervention" scenarios in the direst of situations! Pat. Pat.)

But I am done getting tricked by these False cues. I ain't letting no obesity touch me! NO way! I have decided,  the minute I am tricked into feeling hungry, I am going to:

Drink water first!! Hunger test - I am going to try drinking a glass of water and wait for 15 minutes before cruising down to the refrigerator. If I continue to be HUNGER, then I am just going to go ahead and eat. Ting!

An apple/pear/plum a day… this can sure keep hunger at bay! I guarantee!  Picture chomping down on a red juicy delicious plum. If that doesn't get you drooling enough to eat one, then it’s probably not really food-time  YET!

Zzzz - ing MORE! Lack of sleep increases appetite, hunger, and food intake. (I am not complaining!!! The More the sleep the merrier) Let 's grab those NINE hours of sleep to avoid overeating. (Seven Hours is so passé! and NOW have an excuse as well, don't we! YAY)

De-stress. (Well can anyone tell me, what the HELL DE - STRESSING means?) Ahem... I mean, how does one effectively DE stress, if I may? STRESS, the Five Lettered word of DOOM in this case may lead to reaching out for that cookie jar when we’re not actually hungry... soooo Let's look for other ways to calm the troubled mind to prevent using food for comfort. (Okay, I will be lying if I said, I am going to find some other way, I mean WHAT other way is there, anyway???)

Slow down. This is important! I mean this is something I completely agree with! In fact Mum and I keep yelling at my brother, who runs from the dinner table to the dessert section! Immediately!! It does take time to actually feel FULL after a meal, so before reaching for dessert directly after dinner/ lunch/ breakfast (Don't judge ME! I have a sweet tooth, okay!), let's wait up to twenty minutes to see if the stomach can really accommodate more food. What say? 

Okay, I got to go now, 

a) Its the start of the WEEKEND!!! YAY!

b) I am HUNGRY! I have to Order PIZZA NOW! Or Do I ???? EEK EEK!!!!

Pushed to the Limit!

Mark my words! One more infuriating THING/ PERSON/WHATEVER in my life and I am officially going "Run Away" !

Run away from what you may ask.... Run away from MYSELF. Stop, Cease being Neelanchana Kumar. Go to a faraway place, live in a shack and name myself, Soda and fizzle out eventually!

Things are bad. Quarrels, sickness, negativity, and general lack of peace of mind.

Things are hectic at work. Too much to do, too little time, too many responsibilities, people who wait for ME to take initiative and spoon feed everyone. That's not going happen no more, my friends! NOT happening!

Things are jumbled at heart. Confusion, tension, apprehension, expectation, loneliness and madness.

And out of all this? Where is the blue sky? The Break in the clouds? The bright side? What is the comforting prospect??  This post of mine is my way of finding that silver LINING! (Thanks VJ, you know who you are! Much Love)

I am pretty certain all people reading my blogs may actually think, "OMG she is MAD, she is always ranting about negativity and things NOT going right in her life, such an ungrateful person!" Well I could be Mad, not sure, I don't know. But I could have known that for sure had I created all these scenarios in my head and tried fighting it IN there. Since that is not the CASE, I consider myself perfectly SANE.

Trust me, I am grateful, very grateful for the life I have and the very many things don't have to go through. God, in fact, always shows me time and again how grateful and thankful I should be for my Life. It's not the riches of the world, money, fame, glamour etc that I want or I am craving for. What I am begging for Peace of Mind and my HEART!

Trust me the more I try to stay away from people, the more they seem to come after me. Leave me alone, please don't annoy me, please don't make it your life's goal to follow what I am doing!! I don't mind, nice happy people following my Blog (s), my twitter and stuff. That's all cool, yo! But what is not cool is stalking me on Facebook, calling me a 100 times when I clearly don't want to talk to you, etc etc. Don't do that. Really Don't!

Let me get one thing very straight: The vast majority of people you meet are nice, caring and considerate. They go out of their way to be polite, they help if they can and they truly care about the well-being of people around them.

Yes, But I seem to be having the most inconsiderate, and cumbersome jerks at work, and another places I frequent! I like making conversations with absolute strangers, smiling at them and sharing a joke or two and they are all GOOD! But the minute someone actually starts working with me, the same smiling, sweet person decides to take full on advantage of me, milking his or her way to the MAXIMUM!  Here are a few top things that piss the crap out of ME!

1.  "Can you drop me home?" (Their "Home" being on the exact opposite direction of where I am headed to!")
2. Dear  "Audibly challenged friend of mine", Can you please tone yourself a couple of notches down. We NEED NOT hear your entire conversation, it's is physically painful! Stop! 
3.  Arrive late for meetings. Why do you pick a Time and NOT stick to it?? Life is short my friend!
4. “Borrow” money - WHY do you want to borrow money, Oh Highly paid senior of mine? Why? Haven't you heard of "Jitni chadar hai utna hi pair failana chahiye" ?? In short, stay within your MEANS, and not within everyone else's MEANS! 
5. Staring at MY FOOD! Oh, you are eating this? OH, SALAD, OH VEEGIES Oh.... STOP! I am not staring down your food, am I? Then quit making my food feel naked and violated! And stop making me get diarrhea.

I can go on and on, but I think this pretty much gives you a SMALL IDEA, No?

The thing is had these people been random people on the road, I could still ignore them, get up and leave, how can I ignore them when their crazy selves are in my FACE! So how do you deal with irritating people at work? With that in mind, I have decided to come up with a few strategies that can help ME become less irritated while at work. I just tried some of the below thoughts, and I won't lie, though it didn't HELP me all that much, I was a hell of a lot better that simply dreaming about revenge and scheming to KILL  them. ( Believe you me, I have dreamt up scenarios wherein I boil, skin and poke venomous syringes on CERTAIN "Fantastic" people!)

So, the next time someone or something really gets your goat at work, let's try:

1. Staying calm. (Ignoring the dork and singing Mother, Father... Gentleman. in your head) Sometimes when you get really mad, you may end up doing something rash, (For example - Threatening to throw the PC on someone's head... What you haven't done it?.... Don't judge me!). If you can stay calm (and sing in your head), you’re more likely to choose constructive actions (Not that throwing the PC wasn't but let's focus on saving the infrastructure, shall we?)
2. When you stay calm, you really annoy those who want to annoy others. (Take that you crazy JERK!) If that person is truly out to annoy you (which I am sure they ARE), the very best way to annoy them back is to stay cool. Be the cool cat, Be the cool cat on life ONE! Deny them the satisfaction of getting you riled. They HATE that.
3.  Getting mad often means staying mad. (Not good at all for those nasty migraines, I say!) When we get irritated with someone, we get sucked into up into this dark, devious plot of theirs, making us Mad and keeping us in that Vile mood for a long, long time.
4. We ONLY Harm ourselves. One of the people watching any of this dramas, isn't going to help, or get in involves, all they are going to do, is stand there and stare and laugh at our expense! Getting annoyed really harms no one but US. We don't want to be their daily dose of Gossip Girl and Boston Legal, do we? (Drifting away, special prayers and thoughts for all those affected in Boston. #PrayForBoston)
5. Getting irritated makes it easier to get mad the next time. Once we get angry with someone, we are on our defense from there on, and we start a cycle of anger – which means it takes less and less to set US off. Curse you Oh, Vicious circle!
6. Instead of getting mad at these maddening people – Lets feel sorry for them. Jerks are very often jerks because they feel bad about themselves. Hating them is really a waste of time – lets invent stories about their sorry lives and feel sorry for them instead. No yelling, no fight, Just PITY and some creativity!!
7. Lets Laugh about it! Yes, their behavior is crazy, but the closer we look, it's going to be mostly pathetic and ridiculous. Lets Laugh at it, rather than get annoyed. Lol - ing is good, No?

That being said, Once in a while, SCREAMING your head would be PERFECT, but let's just keep it for the BEACH! Having a screaming, shouting match with the huge, loud roaring waves is the best way to go about it. After all the Beach is a much worthy opponent, as supposed to these measly and I.Q. challenged colleagues of ours! Agree?

By the way, by no means are we turning into meek and humble and all with holding wimps. It's about not getting angry over crazy people, because getting angry is rarely good for US. Once in a while, getting angry may be just the ticket, though. It can be exactly what’s needed to unlock a tight situation. It’s not about getting angry, it’s about getting angry in the right way. And in most situations, let's find that COOL and KEEP IT COOL!

Anybody can become angry – that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.

- Aristotle.

P.S. By the way, I have started a Brand NEW Blog!!!  YAY! :D You can follow it on Design Yatra !!!  When I started Monastic Ambitions, I knew I could not hold back, but little did I know, that I was well on my way to unleash a tsunami of emotions onto my unsuspecting victims! Design Yatra is yet another humble attempt at expressing myself, but less of me and more of my WORK. Capturing the essence of the journey My Art, my Design, my Photography and my Passions. You can read more about why created this ONE here Yet Another Blog and follow my work there. It will be much appreciated!!! Thanks!!