Letters to GOD!!

Diwali is Almost HERE!! Yay!!

Yes it is once again THAT time of the Year! I earnestly look forward to Diwali, I absolutely love the colors, lights, sweets and the genuine unadulterated FUN! Lighting up your entire house with Diyas, Candles everywhere, and the smell of incense sticks filling the whole house, the fresh flowers, the colors, the clothes, and the jewellery!!

Agreed for the past two years we haven’t been celebrating Diwali they way we used, all thanks to the Layer of Depression that engulfs these festivities in terms of "Ohh... Yet another Diwali and My daughter is Still single! We will celebrate Once we find a Perfect partner for Neelu!" Sulk Sulk! But this time around I am going to have none of this spoil My Diwali!

As a prelude to the Festivities, last Saturday, I rolled up my sleeves and got into doing my most favourite chore ever, CLEANING! :D Yes, you read it right, scrubbing, dusting, washing, wiping and cleaning and ensuring every bereft dusty ignored corner of my Room (Yes I have only finished cleaning my room that to baring my sister’s Table :P). Ahh the feeling when the room sparkles from polish scrubbing and cleaning is truly divine considering how much of a borderline OCD, I am.

Last Saturday, If anyone were to come to my Room, they would most definitely have found me atop my ladder, screaming to my little brother to come and Make himself USEFUL!!! Poor Thing, Is my handy help, after all he would just anything to avoid his Studies… hahah… Me calling and involving him into my project garners a different response from my Mum which is something to the effect of… “You clean, scrub, do anything you want, do not involve the rest of us, you have nothing to do, but the rest of us have, Mon has to study and cannot waste his time… By the way for how long will is remain this leave, I am sure you yourself will be the first one to dirty the place!” My mum! Hahhah… Well Its is True to an extent, I won’t disagree, but this time around I intend to keep the Space Spick and Span throughout!! *Fingers Crossed!*

Duster, Broom, Vacuum cleaner, soap, window cleaner and everything else is absolutely essential to ensure that every iota of fictitious dirt gets sucked into a different realm, where all the Dirt from millions of OCD patient’s homes get chased into!

I am getting inherently lazy when it comes to exercise these day, I cant belive I am the same person who used to take 4 steep stairways more than 10 times in the day during my college, Ahh well at least I can blame my Knee for laziness! :P With Diwali cleaning comes the absolute exhaustion post the cleaning with I completely Look forward to. It’s the same feeling I get when I venture to take the Kitchen Duty into my hand on certain Thursday nights. The Feeling has every bone, muscle and ligament in my body beg for forgiveness and promise to show through the skin, rather than be Content and hide beneath layers of fat and MORE FAT!

And then comes My Mum’s Favorite Part of Diwali cleaning. Getting rid of the clutter! She hates clutter, and we (read me, Sannu and Kits!) are manic about accumulating clutter. And she has her way during this Cleaning, and we cannot really do anything about it as we have it our way throughout the YEAR! :P

Hybrid bits and pieces which have long been disjoint from the rest of its Body, Invitation cards, Movie theatre tickets, Metro Route, etc and they came as attachments to, old rolls of wires, dented tony cars and more, which are not going to useful as long as the Sun is shining over our Planet, but we still store it for Pure EMOTIONAL Value!

I love Diwali cleaning with a passion that only rivals the feeling of looking through bundles of old books, notes, papers and MEMORIES. Cleaning and dusting and arranging leads me to places, I knew existed, but had forgotten over the months, among the heap of my college books, I discovered a heap of papers with lots of emotional Value! My Professor’s Hand written notes congratulating me, My Boss 1st Note for me, My 1st Public speech, Little Doodles drawn during the classes, random sketches of my Dream home, My umpteen no of diaries and most importantly My Letters to God!

Sigh… My Letters to God! Expressing certain feelings of mine to anyone beyond a limit, regardless of the subject is a very very difficult thing to do for me… I am always skeptical when it comes to doing that only because of previous unpleasant experiences. It requires being prepared to bear the consequences of being misinterpreted, misquoted and most of all feeling exposed! And therefore I find it best to talk to the one person I have no qualms with, no inhibitions, no fear, and no restrictions and have nothing but Pure Love for, GOD!

There was a time I used to saturate myself with God, read and meditate on different write-ups on HIM, pray, Write and talk to God daily. Listen and try to learn his voice… and daily run these effects in my mind while doing all my daily chores.

I don’t write to HIM now, a little something made me stop, I only talk to him now, that Way I don’t feel sad reading the letters at a later stage and indulge myself in self pity. Reading the letters got me so emotional and moved since I myself was shocked at how naïve I was, How stupid I was, and at how grateful I should be, HE has given me Everything I asked for and more, everything I didn’t know I wanted, expect ONE, the One thing I kept asking HIM repeatedly in all my letters to HIM and Boy Am I glad I didn’t get it! Thank you… Thank you for not giving it to me!!

It is fascinating for me, at how my Diwali cleaning has received religious sanction of all fronts, be it me finding my letters to God or it being mandatory for all families to clean their house inside out in order to attract, Laxmi, the Goddess of Wealth.

Come Diwali, I have promised myself that will light up my house with all the lights I can lay my hands on. Bring the Diyas out, draw rangolis at the door and Laxmi’s feet running into every room of my home in optimistic hope that she decides to follow the Signage’s to our house as well… :)