Okay, Imagine… Imagine the feeling of over a thousand pins, dipped in HOT boiling Oil, inserted slowly into small portions of your body at random intervals… Can you? If you can, then you have successfully lived in my shoes for a couple of milliseconds. And No I am not over exaggerating... Not at all!
I am a Patient by default! Almost always sick! Appa always says, "Common, behave normally, everyone gets sick, don’t make a big deal out of it… Don’t think about it, concentrate on something else, and you will fine!" Oh Appa, How I wish what you said was true in my case, I TRY… I definitely do… I try to ignore the pain, the anguish, the feeling of my body disintegrating into small bits… but no I haven’t quite managed to be completely able to FOCUS of something else other than the PAIN!
I have dedicated an entire entry on my blog previously on my relationship with Sickness, but this entry, well its different, because in this my main agenda is to record my feelings, at the moment as well as over the past three days.
Falling sick in one thing and dealing with PAIN is another. Excruciating Knee pain (Ohh… It’s a long story, shall elaborate on another entry) and this unbearably distressing stomach pain, these are two of recurring phenomena's in my life. This pain had become a part and parcel of my daily existence. My pain almost always follows a pattern, it has a schedule that it follows, Its affected by climate, by food, my places and it isn't affected by prayers, crying, begging etc. It is definitely one of THE most Stubborn and pathetically, unsympathetic things that I have ever known.
Yup, I have shown the doctor, and there is nothing wrong with me, other than the fact that I Should be losing weight for my knee pain…. (ye… That seems to be the easy out isn’t it!??). Regarding my stomach pain, it's STRESS it seems, I am taking unnecessary tension and this tension in turn causes my stomach and other functions in my body to REACT! Wow, What a Way to React!
Anyone who knows me even a little bit is well versed with my bonding with PAIN… Its like, being hit by someone, its like having a well being created in my stomach, the drilling, the coring and the then the PINS… Ohh… they are like the worst things ever… I can't sit properly then, nor stand straight and definitely not lie down as well. Most times, the pain gets so bad that it hits my head and then I have to throw up! Throwing up is definitely NOT one of my favorite past times, but that is something I spent my time doing on a random basis. After throwing up few times, then it's losing consciousness time.
Pain, vomiting and fainting, all of it seem to take with it a fraction of my internal organs as well. Aside from loathing the pain, the worriment and the exhaustion, I hate it when everyone thinks I just have a 'little stomach ache' or that I'm exaggerating. ... I can go on and on about my PAIN, but I think I should stop now… Its time for some more INSANE PAIN!
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